Scars

by CQA

Scars cover art
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about

My most personal offering to date. This is a track about self-injury and the defensive and antisocial feelings that come along with it. From the upcoming Blood On Beats.

lyrics

I don’t want nobody asking ‘bout my…
I don’t want nobody asking ‘bout my…
I don’t want nobody asking ‘bout my…
I don’t want nobody asking ‘bout my…

First of all, yes, I have cut myself/Secondly, no, it’s none of your business/Third, if you think I think you care about my health/Then I’m pretty damn sure you’ve been sippin’ on that bullshit

I don’t know who told you that it would be cool/To try to delve into my psyche, you sound like a fucking fool/Serious shit, I don’t mean to be cruel/But you question, I’ma look and say nothing, gag rule

Certain topics need to be approached with finesse/And when you ask about me you need to show some respect/Knowledge of my life is a privilege not a right/So don’t you try to bait me cuz I surely won’t bite

“Like, what could make somebody wanna do that yo?”/See, you just showed me you’re not ready to know/A person unwilling to try and understand/Is a person who can talk to the motherfucking hand

And then you have those who just care so much/They’re just so understanding, makes me wanna throw up/Get the hell out my face, didn’t ask for your help/As always, I can deal with this shit by myself

I can’t stand pity, makes me feel shitty/Your sad ass eyes like some fucking lost kitty/I’m a big girl, I can take care of C/Don’t pray, or say that you’re thinking ‘bout me

Cuz I know what you’re thinking and it’s not real nice/So the best you can do is stay the fuck out my life/My trust is hard to earn and easy to lose/My feelings you can’t discern, are easy to bruise

It’s not your fault for hurting me but mine for being hurt/And it isn’t you who hates me, I’m the one that thinks I’m dirt/So even though you may feel this is your problem to solve/I’m gonna need to request that you do not get involved

I’ve been dealing with these issues now for almost ten years/Things that make me do this, all the self-hate and the fear/And while a friend may try to talk me through the pain and strife/No friend can comfort like the knife

It’s a vice, to hold your own life in your hands/And to watch it leak out, I could die by my hands/I think to myself just how simple it would be/No pain, no shame, no breath, no me

I don’t wanna scare you but the feeling is bizzare/Wanna fade like a flame or explode like a star?/Fight with myself, got no partner to spar/Yes it’s hard, but I don’t want nobody asking ‘bout my scars.

credits

released 06 April 2012
beat: Racer by Jimmy Mack

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A kind young rapper out to save her own soul, and maybe yours too.

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